Culture Clash
26 Aug 2010 1 Comment
in Belly Dance, Dance, Hobbies/Interests, Makes Me Happy!, Politics Tags: culture, Dance, politics
I actually considered using a video of “Torn between Two Lovers” to set the mood, then I realized I hated the song.
So, we’ll get right to the mood. How do I reconcile being adamantly politically conservative-libertarian, semi-pseudo-Christian with my passion for teaching and performing belly dance? I’ve gone weeks, months, heck, probably even years without considering the cultural clashes.
But then BAM! It happens.
Like the NYC Mosque situation (HATE IT!), someone being horrified about belly dancing at weddings (ANNOYED WITH THEM!) and my own moment of “OK, now how DO I explain this” (~~sigh~~)…..and I find myself back to where I was in the beginning. Making peace with a dance often linked to a culture that is part of a belief system and political movement that I find abhorrent.
A dance sometimes lumped with sleaze and stripping, skanks and tramps.
Even odder, a dance paradoxically considered either that of the too sexy for words Belly-Barbie OR the uber-empowered Religion Despising, Liberal Leaning, Man Hating Ball Buster (WTF?!?!)
I ponder a while and then return to the initial appeal. The things I like, things that mesh so easily into my world. Why I came, why I stayed, why I will remain here.
There is the femininity of the dance that is so appealing. Whether it is in the sweet country cuteness of Saidi or the bit more earthy flirting of Sha’abi, or the breathtaking expression of Classic Egyptian or the Bad Girl Fun of Havasi. There is the Spit in Your Eye attitude of the sister dance Flamenco or the wonderful energy and hidden athleticism of the folk dances of Morocco, Tunisia, Egypt etc. each can be as demure or as overt as desired. It’s the wealth of expressive avenues that make this dance a continuing adventure for a woman. It’s also a folk dance that doesn’t require perfection of body or limits by age, but challenges your body, mind and spirit.
So, I can dance and be feminine until I’m too old, fat and senile to move.
There are the costumes of course. No, not the skimpy two piece bedlah (though I still wear them, with belly cover and vest). But better yet are the Beledi dresses, the Khleegy ‘big dresses’, the various folk costumes, the abso-frickin-lootly too cute for words Meleya Leff dress, the I’m a Princess Ghwazee Coats. This is all before we even think about Tribal bling.
It’s the sequins! Fringe! Velvets, satins, brocades for the shiny-affected. Or the more earthy cotton, tassels and shells for the more nature oriented. “Big girls playing dress-up” I hear and it’s true and even better if you’ve mastered the dance that matches the costume.
OK, so we have feminine, old fat lady dancing in a cute costume. Triple check.
There is the physical challenge of the dance that is the same if not more than of western dances. It’s a dance like any other, complete with levels of advancement, drills and repetition and muscle memory. It now has so many styles and levels I can’t begin to go into it, simply to say….I’ve had years in all forms of dance: ballet, tap, jazz, modern. Belly dance kicks my butt more than anything else. Simply because it demands I use every last muscle of my body. Not just my arms and legs. I have to work with one part of my body while releasing another. I need to be able to isolate not just one section of my body from another, but literally one muscle from the one sitting next to it. The dance is deceptively simple, but it can also be excruciatingly demanding. Ask my students after class how hard they’ve worked or ask me when I stop sucking wind.
Granted, because it’s a folk dance it doesn’t have universal vocabulary that other classic dances have. But thanks to forums, blogs, video sharing, workshops, teachers creating their own standards etc, that is changing rapidly. The dance is not only becoming more uniform, but expanding in technique. I foresee in the near future a standardization of the dance like all other dances complete with vocabulary.
So, we have “Feminine, old fat lady in cute costume dancing a complex dance” What’s not to like?
Which leads to another aspect of this dance that is appealing. That is its not group dependent. It celebrates and allows for each individual to shine in their own range (sound familiar??). Carolena Nericcio tells the story of how when she as a 14 year old girl, she was asked out to a square dance by a boy she liked. She was excited, made a dance outfit and then on the night of the dance, waited expectantly for him to arrive. Only to be stood up.
What I found amusing was she wasn’t hurt about being stood up, but missing the chance to dance. This is when she decided not to wait on anyone else to dance. This may be the root of the attraction for many.
It’s not a social dance, in the sense you don’t need a partner, or even a special place to do it. It’s also a dance usually associated with females (though it’s a folk dance) and its one of the few dances where body type, size or age doesn’t matter. It’s an individual’s dance, the dance of an introvert (though an extrovert does just fine).
Granted, in researching this dance, you’ll find many women talk of feeling empowered, improving their self esteem etc (which is true). But it’s bigger than that. It’s simply the joy of dancing within a movement vocabulary that feels more natural to your body. Dancing in itself is wonderful, but to find a dance where you’re OK as you are is a double blessing.
So, now we have “Feminine, old fat lady in cute costume dancing a complex dance, solo.”
Then there is the music…. Oh. My. Goodness.
I will not lie. In the beginning– I hated the music!
HATED IT!
BUT, but, but I was told, “You’ll learn to love it.” I thought they were crazy. It all sounded the same. It sounded like cats being murdered in the back of a cement mixer, with drums beating out random hits accompanied by really, really CHEESY Lowery organs. But, I loved the dance and told myself “When I get really good at it, I can dance to music I like”
BTW, the dying cat is a mismar and there’s a joke to go with it….“What’s the difference between a mismar and an onion? No one cries when you chop up a mismar.”
However, it grew on me as I listened to more and more music, as I learned to differentiate between instruments.
I learned to differentiate by rhythm and I learned to play zils! OK, maybe that was my Crossing the Rubicon moment.
In learning to play zils, I was forever hooked, discovering that I am a rhythm addict. Keep your melody, I don’t wanna hear your lyrics…. It’s the rhythm. Which is the core, the root, the exceptionalism Middle Eastern music and dance. Gone are the boring drum machine beats divisible by 2 or 4, or the consistent waltz tempo 123. In their place are beats and patterns as complex and stunning as any melody.
Except better.
OK, so it was the rhythms that hooked me. But little by little, I was won over. First by classic Egyptian and Olm Koulthum. I still remember the chills I got when hearing Enta Omri (You are My World) for the first time. I also realized that this was written in during the Golden Age, when Egypt was striving to make its place in the world and westernize. It’s beautiful and yet sad, on so many levels.
I was won over by the cute bouncy bubbliness of Lebanese classics. I grew to recognize and love the infectious happiness of Saidi. I fell in love with Turkish Pop and then grew to really like the dancing to the Karshilima. I knew I was converted when I heard the original “Habibi El Einie” and thought “This is so much better than the pop version.”
Now? I love the music, and Western music often pales in comparison to the complexity. The rhythms especially you don’t hear on the top 40 radio. The sliding between sharps and flats sound of the maqam, the number of changes in the in one song from vocals to instrumental to taxim to tabla to beledi can make a 5 minute song breathtaking journey.
I found the lyrics vary, some remind me of the bubble-gum pop of my youth. Silly and goofy, sweet and saucy, sometimes a teensy bit suggestive, but never sad. Others can be absolutely gut wrenching in their depth of meaning and passion. Or beautiful and poetic. Or simple and sweet. I wish we had more in our culture.
Understand, there are things I wish we had that other parts of the world have. It doesn’t mean I love America less, or think there is anything wrong with our culture. I just wish we danced more. I wish some didn’t associate core dance movements with sex. I wish we listened to more world music. I wish we had the textiles and fabrics and clothing options. I wish we had Mohammed Saad movies over here. I wish we had Tarkan too.
So instead of fretting, I dance at home with my friends, educate anyone who goes down the raunch and sleaze path, share all kinds of music with friends and family and buy dance gear online. I watch Mohammed Saad on Youtube, wishing for subtitles and I drool over Tarkan.
So, now we have “Feminine, old fat lady in a cute costume dancing a complex dance solo to beautiful music, while playing zils and drooling over Tarkan.” What’s not to like?
My Two New Roomies: Red Tailed Boas
03 Aug 2010 2 Comments
in Animals, Hobbies/Interests, Makes Me Happy! Tags: boids, red tail boas, snakes
Nephy just hanging out watching me at about 7 feet, 12 or so pounds.
Lazy Hip Eight Drill
02 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
in Alpha, Hobbies/Interests, Hunks, Makes Me Happy! Tags: Beefcake, Hunks, Men, Romance, Sex, Studs
There are eight hips in this picture (this is the easy hip eight drill).
Snowball the Dancing Cockatoo
02 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
in Animals, Dance, Makes Me Happy! Tags: cockatoo, rhythm, science, snowball
Irena is there simply to keep him from being distracted by the audience.
More Hip Work
30 Jul 2010 2 Comments
in Alpha, Hobbies/Interests, Hunks, Makes Me Happy! Tags: Beefcake, Hunks, Men, Romance, Sex, Studs

Seems to get more response to drills when I post guy parts.
Wonder why?
Book Review: Into the Crossfire
29 Jul 2010 4 Comments
in Alpha, Book Review, Books, Conservative, Lisa Marie Rice, Makes Me Happy!, Politics, Romance Tags: Alpha Males, Elizabeth Jennings, Into the Crossfire, Lisa Marie Rice, Romance, Sex, Suspense
by Lisa Marie Rice
Typical (in a good way) LMR fare: Super duper, uber alpha males with a streak of honor and protection a mile wide. The heroines are good…. not pure or innocent, but simply decent, honest humans. And, omigod! They’re mature, kind and gentle, loyal to friends, protective to family and devoted caregivers. Which, in turn, makes them wonderful contrasts to LMR’s alphas. Such is the case of Nicole versus Sam in this story.
Sam’s had a hard life, being the product of a bad mother and even worse foster homes, a little cliché’ but I guess it’s the former foster Mom in me coming out. Growing up to protect those too small or weak to fight back and becoming a Navy SEAL; Sam is now retired, has started his own security/protection business with two other former foster brothers. Scene set for this book as well as one, two or even three others.
Sam isn’t super handsome, but he knows who he is, he knows what is right and wrong (no ruminating angst here). He knows what he won’t do and he knows what he’s willing to do to defend and protect. He’s pretty uncomplicated in a wonderful way. Oh, and he’s strong enough to break a bad guy in half with his bare hands.
~~sigh~~ So much I could do with someone like that around the house (with a chainsaw).
Nicole is gorgeous to the point you’re tempted to push her down the stairs (inside joke at my house). Not only stupendously beautiful and built like a goddess, but multi-multi-multilingual, polished and sophisticated and yes, you really REALLY are resisting the finger itch to give her a shove. But no! Just at the point of “She’s too perfect to relate to” you find out she’s caring for her terminally ill father, flat ass broke, stressed out to the max, has the neighbors from hell and even though having lived all over the world without much want or need, has turned out to be a decent, intelligent and overall good person.
With the right priorities! Family first. Doing what’s right and working to get there. No pity party or expecting someone or something else to fix her life. Nicole becomes realer to as the story progresses. Her devotion to her father is heartwrenching. Her anger after her attack and wanting to learn to defend herself is real and comical all at once. While her feelings for Sam need time to sort out, and is understandable, LMR stories go from hello to the end in nanoseconds so Nicole, as any LMR heroine, figures things out pretty quickly.
The girl ain’t stupid. Unlike in some stories where they are presented with a decent guy on a platter but need to work out their feelings, issues with their careers, do they want to give up their freedom etc etc….. by then, the average guy has married, moved to another state and has three kids already.
The story will remind you a bit of “Midnight Man” in the ‘offices across the hall’ setting as well as the ‘zero to 100’ hot sex. Who’s complaining… not me. Oh, and the sex in lit terms is vanilla—which is fine. Read perfume registries. Vanilla is one of the most used basenotes in the fragrance industry for a reason- because it’s always a pleasure and always adds to the quality of the perfume. So vanilla is a good analogy for a consistent ‘winner’.
Warning for some- The language is crude– lots of F bombs and the C word being used in the guy’s thoughts. For me, I hardly notice anymore, however, be warned if you do have issues with graphic descriptions and sex talk.
Thumbs up for the non-PC villain (Oh Noes! He’s a Muslim!!) who is pretty damn realistic in mindset and attitude if you’ve ever dealt with his radical type–they show up in international forums and YouTube chats all the time. His one snark about US females selfishly throwing away husbands and children I have heard in forums as to why the US is viewed as the great Satan by some. Again, not PC nor will it make feminists happy (in their ‘American Girls are always the victim’ whining.) Making feminists squirm makes me in turn, squeal with delight. There is no doubt that LMR has been to and even lived in some of settings she writes about and get’s what the real world is like.
Tangent 1: One phrase that had me in fits of giggles was Nicole remembering grossly unappealing men in some countries who thought they were hot stuff simply because they had a penis. It was almost a direct quote from a Gilded Serpent article written by a dancer who was traveling though out Turkey, the Middle East and so forth; getting aggressive offers of sex from men without jobs, teeth or recent contact with soap or water.
The attitude of males, due to acculturation, was that any single female should be pleased that ‘they’, the carrier of that wonderful penis, was paying attention to them. The fact that a woman was alone meant she wasn’t getting enough sex and was out in desperate search for wanton nookie….and that these women needed sex (from them- said penis holders) ASAP to curb their randy natures. Oy.
Personally, I can attest to some males not getting that being alone a good thing… and that no sex for a female is always, ALWAYS better than bad sex. I do feel for the women in countries where there is no such thing as bad sex to the guys, because that means there’s hardly ever good sex for the girls. Again, it’s the women there who have it bad so American girls need to take note.
Tangent 2: Other remarks that make me smile were “Nicole had lived in countries where the US military was all that stood between civilization and the abyss.” Again, I imagine liberal screams and gnashing of teeth can be heard at this point. We know how much they want to hate the military but geezers and geezettes who were around in Vietnam are kicking their butts when they try to. However, we DO know how much they hate the US and see it as the villain that has created every ill known to man, hurt every human ever born and destroyed every country in the world since 1592. Remember, Obama said so.
So I can hear the wails of “That’s not true! Let me go find Nom Chomsky and he’ll set her straight!”
The US being a good country and the US soldier being a hero is what I believe and it’s my line of demarcation when it comes to friends, forums and voting. And yes, books and authors. Cross it and you’re on my ‘do not read, do not take seriously, put on HIDE on FB’ list. It appears it’s in LMR’s belief system also and I respect her for that.
Tangent 3: The irony that liberal chicks often read these books to have fantasy fodder later on isn’t lost on me either. What you say and what you think are two different things. I always find it funny that all and any kink will get defended as an outlet for real behaviors and honest desires…. but when you point out that we’ve rarely, if ever had an uber-alpha that wouldn’t run on a conservative ticket, think Reagan was icon, want to date Sarah Palin, get tears in their eyes at the national anthem, fly a flag in front of their house and the reaction is……well… crickets.
Sorry gals, Gandhi isn’t romance novel material. Neither is Obama, Kerry, Frank, Reid et al. George Clooney is a weakling, though pretty to look at and Matt Damon looks like my Tom Cat did post-neuter. Heck, just finding out a man has liberal tendencies or has voted for a liberal candidate and his testosterone levels fade and his sperm count is questionable. You just can’t see them macho enough to love their country, much less fight or die for anything, or wear a military uniform with pride or simply have values they’re willing to die for. It’s too beneath them. Too cliché’. To flyover country.
You never expect them between put themselves between a woman and a villain. You CAN see them trying to talk to the guy about his feelings and what society did to him to make him hate so much. What prejudice or abuse he endured.
Then demanding a law passed.
And prison reform.
And an inquiry into the conservative lawyer who put the guy in prison the first time.
And a demand to defrock the priest that counseled said thug when he was a boy.
By this time, the heroine is a greasy spot on the floor and the slim ball is sizing up weiny boy as his new girlfriend.
Back to the story—
Which again, is why I enjoyed this book.
One minor complaint about the over the top scenarios of beaten and abused females and children in the world; possibly to the point of being trite. Anyone who works in foster care, crisis intervention or mental health knows that woman can hurt kids just as often as men; either by overt abuse or benign neglect and boys/men can be abuse victims also. So the painting of women as the ‘always victims’ may be playing more to the primary audience of females. Even so, LMR makes it clear that Sam’s mother was abusive and neglectful, so there is a bit of balance.
She’s also fixed her ‘too abrupt’ ending complaint from previous books with a sweet epilogue that is both realistic and a peaceful way to end the book. You see one door shut and another door open. I’m looking forward to her next installment in April of 2011.
Arabic/Bollywood Inspired Make-up
28 Jul 2010 Leave a Comment
in Belly Dance, Fashion, Hobbies/Interests, Make-up, Makes Me Happy!, Videos Tags: Arabic Dance, Beauty, Make-up, Make-up Geek, You Tube
Ab Drills
27 Jul 2010 Leave a Comment
in Hobbies/Interests, Hunks, Makes Me Happy! Tags: Beefcake, Hunks, Men, Romance, Sex, Studs

I was researching ab drills for the dance forum and found this….~~sigh~~
Romance Authors and Media Politics
20 Jul 2010 Leave a Comment
in Books, Makes Me Happy!, Pamela Clare, Politics, Romance Tags: Alpha Males, Bias, Conservatism, Drive By Media, Fourth Estate, Lame Stream Media, Liberalism, Media, News, Pamela Clare, Reporters, Romance
I want to preface this with I do like Pamela Clare’s historicals and I highly recommend them. They’re well researched, written about a time in US history that few authors cover: Pre-revolutionary war. She also has a way of intertwining the relationships with the story and action seamlessly. Which is why I read all four of her I-Team series. Even though they set my hair on fire a few times, she still can tell a good story.
However,
Two things struck me last night,
one…. she’s trying to write about reporters at time in history when newspapers are dying…. they’re dinosaurs breathing their last breaths. People get their news primarily from the net or TV now and most folks see newspapers as outdated. So the mindset of the “deliverer of all truth” reporter is archaic and even quaint. Walter Winchell-ish even and probably best suited for the journalist student who remembers the grand days of reporters being the voice of the people.
Which leads to…
two…. few people trust or even respect the media anymore. We’ve caught them in too many lies to believe anything they say. With the the highest numbers of the population being conservative or moderate, the constant marginalization, debasement and insults by the media directed at their 20% in agreement readers-viewers has made them a cult circus, not news and surely not our voice.
An example–
I read the last book, Naked Edge last night and nearly had a fall out of bed laughing moment.
Catherine Anderson’s last books had folks complaining that she talked about Catholicism too much and people were put off by that. Well, the Naked Edge is all about a woman and her Native American Religion (which I enjoyed reading about). However, there is a moment in the beginning where the police harass a sweat lodge and the NA reporter who was present tells her reporter coworkers what happened.
The response?? “Can you imagine if the police dragged a bunch of Catholics or Baptists out of church by their hair? It would have made CNN and people would have been raising hell!”
OK, after I got over the laughing, choking fit, knocking the cat off the bed and spilling my wine… I responded in my head with “No, CNN wouldn’t report it EVER! Not unless they could spin it where the Catholics or Baptists were doing something so awful they deserved it. However, Fox would have reported it and THEN CNN would be all over Fox for their religious bias and THEN CNN would have ran stories ad nauseam about abuse in the Catholic Church, just like they did during Holy Week.”
Again, I don’t think Clare is a bad person or a bad writer, but she is sooo deep in her bias she can’t even see it. I mean, CNN reporting anything positive about Christians or Jews for that matter?? Please…..
That would be so— fair.




